"The only constant in life is change."
My husband said that the other day, and I wanted to smack him. Oh, how I LOATH that statement. Seriously I hate it so much. I hate change! I don't like going out of my comfort zone, it just makes me feel uneasy. I get a huge knot in my stomach even before a change happens, but I know its coming. Its the worst.
Well this time, I think I can be ok with change. Remember this post? Dalton went up to North Dakota like we planned and worked for his brother for a few months. It was horrible...for me. Dalton didn't have much of a problem, but I could not function. I mean, I had been sad about things in the past, but nothing compared to the misery I felt everyday that he was gone. I hardly ate, I was constantly sleeping, and when I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking about the couch and how much I wanted to sleep. If I could have I probably would have slept for 3 weeks straight until the next time my best friend got home. I mean, how pathetic, right? But hey, it was my life.
The problem was, I still had to care for another living human. Fish are pretty low maintenance, the lizards would get food when they needed it, and if I had had a dog, I probably would have left the whole bag of food out so they could eat whenever they needed to, and had them cuddle with me on the couch when I was lonely. But no, life could not be that simple. I had a bigger responsibility. Jason was my motivation to get out of bed. And even then, it was like pulling teeth. I struggled. Every day. He would even cuddle with me a lot of the time. I think he knew I was hurting inside. We talked about it occasionally, and about how hard this was for mommy, and he is definitely old enough to understand.
It took a toll on him too, because he could just feel the depression in the air. It was gloomy and yucky, even though the summer sun was shining into the windows. Poor kid. I feel so bad for him looking back! What a crummy summer right before kindergarten.
I remember talking to him one night before bed and it had been a rough day for me. We stayed on the couch the entire day, so we were talking about that and I told him I was sorry that we didn't do anything fun that day. he said, very sincerely and in the cutest way possible, "Its alright mom, I like watching tv with you. That's fun."
This kid. How do I even express my gratitude for him. I thank my Heavenly Father a lot about how glad I am that Jason is my son, and that he is in my life. He is indeed a very special spirit.
But now the summer is over. The good news, and the reason for this post is that Dalton is no longer working in North Dakota! He got his old job back literally 5 days after he called is old boss and said he was done up there, wanting to know if they could use him. How incredibly grateful we are for that blessing. We did not have to deal with trying to find other work, nor stress about a gap in paychecks.
Jason has also started kindergarten, and we are fortunate enough to live close to his school that we can walk! I don't have to deal with cranky drivers dropping off/picking up their kids and crazy traffic. I just walk up to the school, wait for his class to come out, and take him home. No fuss, no muss. Sometimes we even decide to ride our bikes! Jason is doing full time kinder this year, so he is gone for a long time during the day. The very first day of school when I picked him up, we were walking home and I was trying to get him to talk about what he did and how he liked school. All he kept saying was "It was the longest day EVVVVVEEEERRRRR!" He has been in school for about a week now, and he seems to be a little better. I just have to remember to bring some water for him to drink for the walk home. Its HOT!
So now with Jason in school, and me not working, I have a lot of free time on my hands. And I mean a LOT! I decided to continue going to school, but not anything too crazy. I am taking a Math class that will go towards my required classes, and another painting class. Painting is seriously my outlet. Once a week for 5 hours I get to sit and paint with no interruptions. It is so freeing, and harbors so much creativity. I will be sad when I can no longer take that class and have to fit it into my schedule at home. Its a lot harder!
I am also trying another at home business. I have been doing Scentsy for about 6 months, and it has been great! Such an easy company to work for, with lots of people to help when you need them. Not only through customer service through the company itself, but also my mom and her team. I have had many successful orders, and have met a lot of people I would not have normally had the chance to meet if I did not do Scentsy. Now that I have all this free time though, I wanted to start another fun adventure. I am now a consultant for Jamberry! I noticed a few months ago when I was really struggling and I went to a nail salon and got my nails done, that I felt so much better because I could do something for myself. I liked how my fresh nails made me feel just a little bit more put together, and not so much like a slob. It just cost me a bundle to do so. It was a necessity at the time because I really needed it. But I can't afford to go to the salon every time I feel down. So now Jamberry can help me feel good about my appearance in some small way. Jamberry is an affordable alternative to traditional nail polish. It is an adhesive wrap that is heat and pressure activated that applies directly to a finger or toe nail. 300+ designs means I can choose whatever I want to help me get out of a funk. So I can get them for myself and have cute nails, while trying to make a little money by helping other customers get excited about them too! Check out my Jams website here!
So with all the change happening in our lives, it seems that change is the new constant. How that is, I have no idea. But I guess I will try to go with the flow, and hope that I do better this time around.
~Until next time, Cheers from the Checketts~